Transference is when you have feelings about someone from your past, like a parent or friend, and you unintentionally direct those feelings toward someone in your present life, like a coworker or boss.
Imagine this scenario: Sometimes, you store food in the fridge and forget about it. Over time, the food goes bad. You open the fridge, find the spoiled food, and realize it’s been sitting in the fridge for a long time, taking up the space and stinking.
Now, think of your mind like that refrigerator. Instead of food, you store feelings, emotions, and memories from your past. These feelings might be linked to important people in your life, like your parents or friends. Over time, you might forget about these old emotions, however, they are still there. Sometimes, they resurface, especially when someone in your present life reminds you of those people from your past.
This is transference. It’s like finding that stinking, spoiled food in the back of your fridge. You might not realize right away that these old feelings influence your reactions to people in your current life. You might feel angry, overly trusting, or incensed with someone because they remind you of someone from your past.
Just like with spoiled food, the first step is recognizing these old feelings. Once you do, you can decide what to do with them. You might need to “clean out your fridge” by dealing with these old emotions, possibly with the help of a friend or therapist. By understanding and addressing transference, you can improve your current relationships and interactions, just like cleaning out your fridge keeps your food fresh and your kitchen smelling good.
What is Transference?
Transference is a psychological phenomenon in which a person appears to direct sentiments toward someone who is not that person, such as a parent. When a person looks at another person or situation and connects it with the scenario he experienced in his past, and when he makes decisions based on those experiences, he somehow demonstrates transference by expressing his feelings.
In the 1890s, Sigmund Freud’s psychoanalytic practice gave rise to the notion of transference. Childhood and past experiences, according to Freud, laid the groundwork for one’s adult growth and personality. Psychoanalysis seeks to reveal those hidden issues that may be causing present emotional and behavioral patterns. One approach for recognizing and, hopefully, resolving those issues is through transference.
What are the different types of Transference?
Transference is an unconsciously occurring process that occurs from one person to another. It occurs when a person’s emotions and expectations are directed at the person in front of him. When this happens, a person may begin to interact with them as if they were the person from their previous experiences.
It usually manifests itself when reminiscing about certain memories or connections. It is a common occurrence and does not always imply something is amiss. Even so, knowing the different types of transference can help you detect it when it happens.
1. Paternal Transference
When a person sees another person as a father figure, this is referred to as transference. It manifests as a belief in another person’s power, authority, and ability to provide appropriate guidance and protection.
2. Maternal Transference
In this case, similar to the paternal example, one individual views another person as an idealized mother figure. They are most likely expecting this person to be soothing and reassuring.
3. Sibling Transference
When parental relationships aren’t as strong as they should be, it can manifest as more peer-based interactions rather than a leader/follower relationship.
4. Non-familial Transference
This type of transference occurs when a person treats others as idealized copies of what they are expected to be rather than their real selves.
It’s important to note that not all transference reactions are triggered by feelings you’ve inherited from your parents. If an intimate relationship, another familial relationship, or a friendship has significantly impacted you, it can manifest as transferred feelings. And the feelings of fury, fear, and anguish might be just as strong as they were when the trauma occurred.
Impact of Transference on Work-Culture and Leadership
It is transference when particular people and situations in the workplace remind you of previous relationships and situations. You could not recognize these sentiments or attitudes as being from the past, which poses a professional risk. Because you may not have learned how to handle the original relationship or scenario, you will likely repeat your response, regardless of whether it is acceptable or unsuitable. This puts you at risk of overreacting or underreacting, leaving you vulnerable.
You may be conjuring up a bad situation in your head, which informs your interactions with the current person. Your father could have been a strict dictator. Your boss or coworker can remind you of your father. This might lead to much friction and passive hostile behavior from you. On the other hand, you might bring up someone from your coworker’s or boss’s past whose behavior they wouldn’t like. It is also quite harmful. You may lose your job.
The situation might also go the other way, with you being overly accommodating to someone because they remind you of a childhood friend or instructor who liked you. Your reactions to that person may make you appear inept and weak. It is also dangerous.
Don’t blame the other person if you’re facing unfavorable emotions or events at work. Make an effort to comprehend what is going on. Examine the person’s appearance and mannerisms for any resemblance. Consider whether they remind you of somebody from your past. If they do, you’ll have to see if your reactions suit you.
When it comes to leadership, it can mean various things at various times to various people. Let us share a short story that illustrates the concept of transference. Roosevelt was neither a healthy nor a strong man during his presidency. He had multiple health issues and was in a wheelchair.
However, his country was in grave economic straits and was eventually drawn into a global military battle. And the basic fact is that the citizens needed to get their strength from someplace, and they needed to get it from someone. And that individual was the president of their country. The people wanted to see their leader’s strength and confidence, so they drew on it.
Eventually, as he grew physically weaker throughout his administration, the country grew stronger, and the theory is that he was transferring his strength to his leading country.
Here are some traits of a great leader:
- Every leader should be mindful of the behaviors, things, and characteristics required.
- Leadership is when you do everything you can to embody and exhibit the needful.
- A leader should always see every problem through a different lens, not from past experiences.
- The entire organization follows the footsteps of a leader, so follow the trait you want your people to follow.
- If you want your customers to be treated in a certain way, make sure you treat others in the same way.
- You have to convey the strength and confidence you want to see in your organization.
Transference of childhood images onto a leader, as Freud first described it, is the strong unconscious reason to follow them. However, the transferential glue that held followers to organizational leaders in the past has moved to a more sibling-like, collaborative dynamic rather than a parental, autocratic one as a result of the changing social character. Leaders are confronted with multiple identities, cultural beliefs, and personalities as firms become more global.
If you experience someone else projecting their stuff onto you, then what will you do in that situation?
- Will you welcome it?
- Will you make people aware of it?
- Do you confront them?
- Do you talk it over?
- Do you anchor the conversation as a big idea or mission?
- Where is your memory lens?
- Is this a projection of who you truly are?
- Are you responding as/like someone you know?
How would you react to such a situation? Do let us know!
Image Source: https://www.elliottdavis.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/GettyImages-691143047.jpg
Written by: Jimmy Jain & Afreen Fatima
Society of Design Thinking Professionals
